Man Pages (and commands) that should be part of Unix

When bitching on our favorite newsgroups, some of us have authored the man pages we really wish were included in unix (with their associated commands). We truly are a twisted lot, and these contributions help to prove the point.

The whole lot can be obtained as the a.s.r man page distribution tar file. The pages have been troff formatted, so you can install them at your site. This is encouraged.

Section 1 - User Commands

lart - Luser Attitude Readjustment Tool - use a lart to adjust lusers' attitudes

slave - a semi-interactive command for the dirty work

sysadmin - responsible for everything imaginable that may or may not have to do with the system you're using. Contraction of "system" and "administrator"

think - you don't have to think, the computer can think for you

whack - mangle requests to a printer or damage a printer

Section 2 - System Calls

people - fetch a structure containing all ttys, whose owner behaves like a human

Section 3 - C Library Functions

chastise - library function to punish users

Section 5 - File Formats

normality - definition of what types of normalities different users may have

Section 8 - Maintenance Commands

bosskill - send a signal to your boss, or terminate your boss

ctluser - control lusers

guru - System administration

knife - tools to improve network performance via SNIP

luser - process to control the clueless induhviduals who (mis)use computer systems, peripheral devices and system administrators. Word play on "loser" and "user"

nuke - launch nuclear weapons at mapped USENET sites

pmsd - Periodically Manic System Daemon. Manages the bizzare and sometimes unexplainable behavior exhibited by computers

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Last updated 6/25/96 by Eric the Ornery